No Laughing Matter

I hate going to the dentist. Sterile and white, I try to avoid the pristine dentist’s office as much as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t avoid it very often with my teeth. With more crowns than the Royal Family, I know the stereotype of British teeth to be personally true. Of course I can’t blame British dentists or the lack of fluoride in the Thames River. No, my teeth issues come down to one defining characteristic: liver disease.

Personally, I don’t believe I have bad hygiene. I brush my teeth twice daily, occasionally floss, and I use mouthwash. Like most of my problems, I find someone else to blame, this time my liver. Calcium is the chief supportive element in bones and teeth. Most people with chronic liver disease, though, do not properly absorb their calcium and Vitamin D. This explains why most people with PSC and similar diseases suffer from osteoporosis. It also explains why my teeth suck.

On Sunday September 13^th, I was enjoying a Nips candy at my grandmother’s house when the cap of my tooth came out. Everyone was completely freaked out except for Babi and I who both know a thing or two about bad teeth. I made an appointment for that Thursday to have my fake tooth re-glued to the root and went on with my day. When Thursday came, though, I couldn’t make the appointment because I had just gotten a new liver the day before. In fact, one isn’t allowed to go to the dentist for three months post-transplant. With a compromised immune system and plenty of bacteria in your teeth, my doctors suggested that I should wait to go to the dentist until at least December. Adding fuel to the fire is the problem that one has to take moxicyllin before your appointment. I am allergic to most antibiotics and therefore have to take a seven-day course just to get my tooth reattached.

A visit to the dentist can be a painful and bloody experience. Now on coumadin, a blood thinner, anything bloody tends to be a problem. My hematologist tells me I need to go off of the coumadin at least five days before the appointment and stay off for five days after. But since my body is still adjusting to the new meds, he thinks I should hold off from going to the dentist as long as I can. Look, I’m happy not to go to the dentist, but it honestly feels like someone has it out for my tooth and I.

I take Calcium everyday. I brush my teeth twice daily. But I’m starting to worry that I’m gonna look like a hockey player soon if I don’t visit my dentist. No one likes listening to Lite FM radio while their mouth gets drilled apart. Even less satisfying, though, is walking around with a missing tooth. And so I’m happy I haven’t been to the dentist in a while. I’m just not going to smile about it.