Take 20 and Call Me in the Morning

If you’re one of my doctors, this post is not intended for you. Please stop reading now! Thank you.

With that out of the way, I can let you in on a little secret…I am not good at taking my medicine. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always decided what to take, when to take it, and how much to take. It’s not that I don’t think my meds are important and I don’t think I’m particularly lazy. Rather, I just take enough to feel well and don’t burden myself with taking more than I have to. Of course, none of my doctors would ever understand this and that is why I needed a disclaimer on the top of this post.

I don’t think I’m alone in my actions here, either. Ask anyone with a chronic health condition and I think they’ll tell you the same, taking medicine for the rest of your life is not an easy task. Quite often you can feel like the disease is running your life. Between doctor appointments, tests, getting sick, and prescribed medicines, you really don’t have a lot of control over your body. Just look at the pictures on this post and you can see that everywhere I go, I’m weighed down by my meds. Taking control of this aspect of your care is at times the only way you can feel empowered over your disease.

Of course, there is a method to this “madness. If I’m not feeling well, I’ll be sure to take all my meds. But when I’m feeling healthy, I’ll take liberties with some of my pills. First, I am extremely bad at taking vitamins. Though I’m sure they’re as important as my other prescribed meds, for some reason I can’t shake the feeling that vitamins are just “extra”. I’ve suffered from Vitamin K deficiencies, osteoporosis, and anemia, and yet most days I’ll refuse to take my calcium and multi-vitamin.

Second, I won’t take any invasive meds. For years I had to inject myself with heparin for blood clots. Since then, I’ve refused to do anything that will bother me, including giving myself shots, taking liquid meds, and even taking huge pills. I pride myself on being able to down 10 pills with a single gulp of water and a pill the size of a horse tranquilizer can make this very difficult. And because of liquid suspensions I can no longer drink orange juice or ginger ale without imagining the taste of my meds.

Finally, my biggest problem with my meds is the schedule. I have no problem taking my prescriptions when I wake up and when I go to bed, but I almost never take my afternoon meds. During the day, you are just too busy with everything else to remember to take your calcium and Crohn’s meds. And even though I have extra pills in my office, in my wallet, and even on my key chain, I just don’t remember (or care) to take them during the day. Look, I take over 25 pills a day and so I’m sure skipping 2 or 3 can’t be such a big deal.

One of my biggest fears post-transplant is my attitude towards my medicines. Taking your anti-rejection meds are the most important thing a patient can do with a new organ. Even a slight slip-up and your body will begin rejecting your new liver. Of course, I’m well-aware that my lethargic attitude is a detriment to my new healthy life, and since my transplant I’ve been excellent at taking all my meds (even my afternoon ones). But it’s only been a month. I honestly don’t know if I’ll have the same fortitude and strength in ten years. Time heals all wounds. As my scar begins to fade, lets just hope that my memory and strength don’t go away with it.