Two Bellies, Two Babies, and a Liver

Some men have a very tough time empathizing with their wives during pregnancy. They will run to the supermarket at any hour to feed their wife’s cravings, come to every doctor appointment and read every baby magazine available. Yet, no matter how hard they try, they can never realistically sympathize with the mother of their child. On the other hand, some men become so empathetic to their wives that they actually begin to experience similar symptoms to pregnancy. Couvade syndrome, or sympathetic pregnancy, is when fathers-to-be get cravings, gain weight, and get nauseas like their beautiful wives.

I, miraculously, fit into both categories. To begin, I cannot possibly fathom how Aviva can handle having twins constantly steal all her nutrients and energy. Somehow, my wife manages to work a full-time job, take care of me, and manage our house. I also don’t understand her sudden obsession with fruit, her intense love of a body pillow, and her keen sense of smell. And of course, I’ll never actually experience the pain and glory of delivering a baby.

On the other hand, Aviva and I started experiencing similar symptoms early on in her pregnancy. During the first trimester, Aviva began to steal my anti-nausea meds as well as my folic acid. Both of us felt tired, nauseas, and achy. When Aviva started to feel better during the beginning of her second trimester, she stopped stealing my meds as we began to share other symptoms. First, there was intense cramping in our legs, so bad we would wake up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. And as Aviva started to grow horizontally, I joined her by getting ascites. I’ve probably lost around 10 to 15 pounds since the beginning of the summer, but my stomach has only grown as fluid build-up has increased in my belly. In fact, I’ve even preempted Aviva’s growth in my swollen feet, which have increased a full shoe size.

They say men don’t feel the pregnancy until the baby comes out. Ultimately, men can’t actually experience the fun and hardships of carrying a baby and giving labor. And although sharing symptoms with my wife is definitely cute, it also makes us the most unproductive couple in the country. We used to joke about both of us carrying a baby while being wheeled from the hospital, Aviva post-labor and me post-transplant. But as that joke gets closer to reality, I’m scared that I won’t be completely healthy by the time the babies are on their way. My liver weighs a little over 6 pounds now, the same weight as a healthy twin. Here’s hoping that I get to deliver that baby really soon.