Miracle on 164th Street

I woke up the morning of Wednesday September 16^th determined to go to work. A few days earlier my hemoglobin was found to be really low and on Monday I had a blood transfusion and endoscopy to stop any bleeding. I was completely out of it on Tuesday, still exhausted from the transfusion and groggy from the procedure. But by Wednesday, although I didn’t feel much better, I was determined to get to work. When I texted Aviva that morning that I would meet her at the hospital before going to work, she was shocked. She didn’t think there was any chance I was going to go to work that day. And in the end, I guess she was right.

At 9:30 am, I pulled into a parking spot right in front of the hospital when my phone started ringing. My surgeon told me that I received a liver and that if I wanted it, I needed to come to the hospital right away. He told me nothing else, just to come to his office and we would discuss it. Just as I got off the phone, Aviva got in the car and I told her the news. I can’t remember her reaction. All I remember is turning the corner, parking the car, and walking towards the doctor’s office.

For six months, my phone was always on me. I kept it on at night, during the Sabbath, and even during the movies (on vibrate of course). For six months, I had been waiting for the call and when it finally arrived, I wasn’t prepared at all. I had always imagined getting a liver at 1:30 am on a Friday night. I was told that usually you have three hours to get to the hospital and I had mapped out that time period between shaving, showering, spending time with Aviva, updating the blog, and relaxing. That was not the case here as my surgeon told me that the liver was on its way and I had 15 minutes to decide what I wanted to do. When Aviva and I were crossing the street towards my doctor’s office, we saw a transplant vehicle, with its sirens flashing, pull up in front of the hospital. I turned to Aviva and said, ”I bet my liver is being delivered in that truck.” Miraculously, it was.

When I got to the surgeon, he told me the liver belonged to a 47 year-old woman and there appeared to be some scarring in the liver. But it was also a local liver and was already at the hospital and so I didn’t really have time to think it over. It was now or never. A liver can travel from as far as Maine and Cleveland and so you have some time to get ready and prepare yourself. But since this liver was local, we had no time. I was completely overwhelmed, as only fifteen minutes ago, I was set on going to work. All of a sudden I had to make such a life-altering decision and frankly, I wasn’t ready for that. The surgeon must have sensed this as he told me we would go to the OR together and he would take a look at the liver. If he thought it was a good liver, I would take it, but if it was very scarred or had any other problems, I wouldn’t go through with it. And so the surgeon, Aviva, and I walked to the OR, not knowing what the near future would bring.

For fifteen minutes we sat in the waiting room. I was emotionless, speechless, and overwhelmed. Aviva was excited. The last couple of weeks were really hard on me and she was extremely happy that this was happening now. For months I was more nervous about how she would handle the whole situation. I could never imagine being in her shoes, watching me get sicker and not being able to do anything. In our family, I’ve always been the calm one, not getting jostled by any situation. But when the day finally arrived, and a new liver was no longer a fantasy but a reality, it was me who couldn’t handle the situation. I don’t think I was scared or nervous, I was just too overwhelmed to feel anything. But Aviva, with her beautiful smile shining, was excited and when the doctor came out to tell us the liver was perfect, it made the decision to say yes that much easier.

Once we made the decision to take the liver, there was no time to waste. I went straight to prep for the surgery while Aviva went to admitting to get me signed in to the hospital. In the next thirty minutes, I changed, got IVs put in, took blood, and signed some documents. I also met with the anesthesiologist and the other surgeons and nurses who would assist during the upgrade. At the same time, my parents arrived and Aviva signed me in. My dad just had time to give me a blessing, and as I gave a kiss to Aviva, I still could not comprehend what was about to happen. And so, with several doctors on my side, I walked to the operating room, not sure what the next few hours would bring.

The surgery lasted seven hours and was completely successful. It turned out that the liver was perfectly fine with no scarring whatsoever. My doctor told me, with a huge grin on his face, that the imaging machine must have been used incorrectly and that is why it showed scarring. Although technically an extended-criteria donor liver, my surgeon believes I could never have gotten a better liver any other day. I woke up from the surgery ten hours after it began, completely knocked out. I wasn’t even sure the surgery was finished but my family was soon by my side telling me that everything went well and that the surgery was a complete success.

It’s been two weeks since the surgery and yet it seems so foreign already. Although it didn’t go as I had planned, I’m happy with the way everything worked out. In retrospect, I think it might even be better that I never had time to take everything in and fully contemplate the moment. Within an hour of finding out I received a liver, I was already on the operating table and perhaps that’s a great thing. I didn’t have time to get nervous, to think about the future, to talk to friends, to cry. Even when I got to the operating room, I still was so overwhelmed that the only thing on my mind was getting a good rest with the anesthesia. Two weeks later, I still don’t really get what happened that day and how momentous of an occasion that was. Still, September 16^th will always be a special day, a day full of miracles, thanks, and one day, complete understanding.