Hello, Yellow

For those of you keeping count, the current number is 10 people who have stopped, gawked, given advice, or asked about my yellowish tint. Of course, these people aren't doctors or skin specialists. I've listed some of my favorites below.

1. Ruscha, my superintendent - Ruscha, you might remember, told me that I don't have liver disease and that a certain crop from Eastern Europe would cure me. Recently, though, Ruscha has told me about a magical fish that if you hold it and stare at it long enough, it will somehow take the yellow from your skin. I'm pretty sure I've seen David Blaine do the same thing.

2. Crystal - Crystal is a nine year-old girl who comes to my office with her mother. She is very sweet and extremely inquisitive. Crystal noticed my eyes one day and asked why they were yellow. I told her I was lucky. The next day she came back and asked me if her eyes were going to turn yellow as well.

3. Rabbi at Synagogue - One Saturday morning at synagogue, my mind was in space when my brother-in-law tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the rabbinic intern. I thought I was in trouble, as if he knew my mind had floated elsewhere. But when I turned to look what he wanted me for, I saw him mouthing "Are you OK?" I was confused and thought maybe he knew I was waiting for a transplant so I gave him a thumbs up. But he was consistent and went on, "You look really sick". After prayers, my brother-in-law went up to the Rabbi and told him I had liver disease. Turns out he thought I was going to vomit because my face looked yellow. Awesome.

4. Blockbuster cashier - I went to rent a movie one night and on my way to the counter, the cashier blurts out, "Wow, you look really jaundice." Thanks! Obviously, she regretted her decision the moment it came out of her mouth, and she spent the next five minutes apologizing. Unfortunately, she did not give me a free rental.

I feel kind of a like a celebrity when people stop me on the street or on the subway. They don't ask for my autograph but they probably take a picture on their phone to send to their friends. That's right, you are all lucky to know such a famous person... "Yannai Segal, The Walking Highlighter".