The Chronic Condition

Man, I am so toasted right now. This is awesome, man. I don’t know what they’re talking about. My liver feels solid. Cough. Cough. I’m fine, seriously. I read somewhere, I don’t remember where, that marijuana smoke doesn’t even affect your liver. It’s like probably good for it, they just don’t want you to know that. Like they did this study of 1500 liver transplant patients, and 155 of them smoked pot. But at the end of the study, it showed that marijuana didn’t negatively affect their transplant. Plus like I have Crohn’s and marijuana is good for that, so if anything I’m stupid not to smoke. Cough. Cough. Oh wow, that is some good stuff.

Like, if we lived in California right now, I could buy us some choice government pot. None of this crap from some guy on the corner. Plus I would eat a lot more if they prescribed me this. Hmm, like cheese curls. And chocolate milk. Yeah, I could really go for some cheese curls right now.

It’s kind of like this woman who got denied a liver transplant because she smoked pot. Like sure her doctors told her she only had 30 days to live so a transplant wouldn’t even assure her a full recovery. But, whatever man. And, like she was a recovering alcoholic so she had an addictive personality to begin with. But no one gets addicted to weed, so that shouldn’t count. And I mean she failed three separate drug tests over 6 weeks. But like that’s stupid man, since weed stays in your system for a really long time. Especially really good weed. So not cool insurance company. Not cool.

I feel so chill right now man. Mostly because for sure there are going to be more transplant donors now. I mean this thing has been the best pr for liver cirrhosis. Like all these pro-legalization websites and blogs have made this story viral. This is like the biggest news to hit the world of grass since Woodstock. Cough. Cough. So like all these pot heads are for sure gonna go sign up to become donors. Not that I’d want their livers anyway. Yo, it’s 4:20, man. I gotta go. Cough.